I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
