i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
