Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
