I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
