I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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