return my video game
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
