He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize