My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
