It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize