There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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