Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
