Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
