a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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