What did we do last night that was yellow?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
