We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
