It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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