I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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