I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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