dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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