im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
