So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Pappa wants mamma naked
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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