Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
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