I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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