He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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