Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Screwed.edu
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
