she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
