so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Text me some of your sweat
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
