my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
