i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
