thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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