It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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