alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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