There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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