You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
