Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
