so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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