so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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