Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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