so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
