so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
