I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
