I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
