At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
