i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
