open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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