please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
