I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize