i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
