my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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