sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize