OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
