Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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