You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
