How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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