he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
