He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
