He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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