Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
