In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize